under another sun

Lorraine off to see Dawn in Lewes this morning. I did fiddling about with writing, and spoke to Mum. Then and enjoyable chat with Robin about the next pre-Christmas episode. Nice to hear her news, a poetry reading in Chichester last night, Nick had just sold his grand piano, she'd pranged her new car in a multi-storey carpark. Chatted about the poems of Niall Campbell, from The Island in the Sound which we both like. Niall was born on North Uist. We need to get some questions together rapidly. In the late afternoon off to meet Anton in The Evening Star. He was fresh from doing an event, and was carrying a bag crammed with stuff, but included his dominoes. He thrashed me a couple of times. The first game a complete whitewash. He can even beat Martin, arch counter of pieces, these days. He'd popped over to see Camino a few days ago. Minus two at night apparently. And a power cut which saw them eating baked potatoes, and bacon and eggs cooked on a pan over the fire. We sloped dow...

Up early this morning. Tom arrived this morning, a burst of cheeriness first thing. He is down to see Pat and Maureen. I had to make my excuses, however and zoom off with Brian to walk in Friston Forest, with Marley the dog sprinting about with a stick in her mouth most of the time. Another gorgeous day, walking through the autumnal forest and its carpet of yellow beech leaves. Excellent and rather profound chat with Brian. While we were walking along he found his black case for his earphones, lost two weeks ago. Amazing he could see them on the forest floor. He said I was his good luck charm. Then we drove briefly to East Dean, where there was a small and very middle class market. He bought some venison. I almost bought some venison sausages as the prices didn't look too dear (arf). Then we popped back to see Yvonne, who had her grandson Sebastian with her. Last time I saw him (last Christmas I think) he was a baby, but now he is a little boy. I feel I understand babies a bit bett...

Up this morning and off to Friston Forest with Guy, and his two small and elderly dogs sporting day glow coats with handles on the backs so you could pick them up like suitacases. I told Lorraine that I was off dogging with Guy. A glorious crisp cold morning. Nice to get to know Guy a little better. He's very friendly and easy to chat with and I enjoyed our walk. Thanks to things like a nice walk in the forest, noticing that I am feeling more motivated, and cheerier. Arranged to meet people, to go for a walk with Brian on Wednesday, to see Anton on Thursday, to arrange a date with Messrs Hoibak and Hartley.  Lorraine spent much of the day with Beth and went to a Christmas Wreath pottery workshop this evening, which they both enjoyed. I sat at home and watched some documentaries about the end of civilisations. 

A glance at my phone revealed I had my first full state pension payment. Trying not to look at it as money for nothing, but cheering anyway. Looked at tax stuff with Mum this morning, and printed things off to send to her in a stamped addressed envelope. A walk, post office, and a bit of shopping. Decided to subscribe to Poetry Salzburg, PayPal glitched and I ended up paying twice. Sigh. More walking, then it rained but Bob called which was very cheering and we have booked a day to meet up soon. Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and then went to her physio and a walk with Beth by the seaside. Not much going on but my mood is improving steadily. 

A bit more lively today. Lorraine at home this morning, and it was nice to hang out. Visited the Government Gateway and found out a simple way to pay, and talked to her about that first thing. A little bit of writing and organising, this morning and a walk in the winter sun for me this afternoon, after Lorraine and I had the bright idea of cashing in our unspent Euros in the post office. Lorraine home and too tired to go out tonight. The Rebooters, nine of us, off to Eastbourne this evening by bus, to a pub called The Lamb. A nice old place. Missing Lorraine, but I had a good time. Brian and Yvonne, Adele and Patrick, Guy and Barbara, Steve, myself and Matthew arrived with Rumi the dog. One of the three allowable dogs.   Feeling low again, this evening but excellent company a pint or three of Harveys and a decent fish and chips perked me up.. Bussed back to Seaford, fond farewells to everyone. Steve and I sneaked off to the Union Club a place I am now a member for an absolute blood...

Beth's birthday, a gorgeous very cold but sunny day. Enzo five months today too. We drove around to Beth's place with some presents, and then we all drove off to Drusillas where we spent a few hours wandering about looking at creatures, and having a bit of a laugh. Enzo good as gold. Beth did very well and was feeling fairly okay. She has been amazingly resilient. We are all yearly members of Drusillas now, which means we can go as often as we choose. There's a little restaurant there too, and we scarfed baked potatoes, which on a cold day were a winner Home to Seaford. Lorraine and I drove straight to Maureen and Pat's house, as Pat had slipped out of his armchair onto the floor. We lifted him up again after some careful planning. I managed to pull my arm somehow in the process. Maureen a bit upset that she had just nodded off for a doze and woke to find him at her feet.  Lorraine and I did some shopping in Morrisons, then cooked a simple pasta dish for Beth and James ...

Beth and James at hospital all morning, with Enzo. Beth had lots of tests but has been released back into the wild, thank goodness. Didn't do my 10k paces today, and frankly felt a bit better for it. A peaceful day for me. Sylwia here this morning. I fiddled about doing a bit of writing. I also uploaded the photos of the Stone Age tool I discovered on a Facebook page devoted to that sort of thing. One expert said it was simply a stone, another regular poster called that into question. Learnt a new phrase today... Bulb of Percussion, a telltale sign that a stone has been hit and worked.   In the evening off to Steve's house, for the reading of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew . A delightful evening, and a fun play to read, although deeply problematic from a feminist perspective. We read it through, and then ate the delicious venison casserole Steve had cooked. A cheery evening, that manages to be both a good laugh with some mates, but also improving at the same time. Lorrai...

A cold start, and off to Edgware this morning. I discovered on the train that when I plugged in my laptop to recharge overnight, I failed to turn the switch on. I needed it to sort some things out for Mum. Feeling drained and depressed on the train, and was irritable all day. Once in Edgware and was walking towards Mum's place, it made me think of being in Edgware in my twenties, when times were colder. A chat with Rupa and Wynford, and Wynford's sister Linda. They are taking Mum to the pub tomorrow.  Mum drove us off to The Waggon. We met Steve there, who had kindly helped mum understand her tax form last week, and has set her up on the Government Gateway. However, this means that the authentication code to enter the Government Gateway is sent to Steve. I was unable to change Steve's number to mine in Mum's profile, as when I accessed it on my phone, I selected stay signed in for seven days. So I will have to trouble Steve again. However I bought him a large wine to th...

A gorgeous, frosty sunny morning in Seaford. Coffee this morning with Yvonne at Grumpy's cafe. Lots to discuss, then I strolled along the sea afterwards; a gorgeous sunny day. Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and getting some acupuncture. It seems to be helping her lots with knee pain in the night. To the dentist is afternoon. Coílín her usual sweet self, asked how Brian was straight off the bat, and I had to tell her he was in cat heaven, apart from a bit of a scrape and clean however me 'ampsteads are serviceable. Coílín asking me if I clamp my teeth while concentrating. I said I'm more of a drooler than a tooth grinder while asleep. In a first for me, I almost fell asleep while my teeth were being scraped. Walked home along the seaside, as the sun as lowering.  When Lorraine home from Pat and Maureen's place, we ate up our plated up dinners from last night, and we are speeding through watching the Star Trek series  Strange New Worlds , which is on ITVX, which is...

Up late this morning, breakfast then Lorraine did a spot of gardening. I stowed and cleaned the barbecue, a messy business. Steve called from the Waggon and Horses, as mum had taken her most recent tax letter to him to translate. Will pop up next week to see Mum and see Steve.  Afternoon, I went for a walk, bumping into Kate from life drawing, who had just done a portrait painting of Adele this morning. By chance Adele had sent it to me this morning, a strong resemblance and Patrick thinks it has captured her essence. She wondered if I fancied having mine done by her too. People tell me I'm no oil painting, but what if I were? Have been listening to a Great Lectures audiobook about the Occult. A series of lectures. It is superficial and is full of mistakes. I gave it a couple of hours. When it completely missed the point about how the I Ching works, I checked out. A bit tired after my walk, and boofed onto the gold sofa feeling drained and a little joyless.  Then to Stratheden...

Up early, as Lorraine had to take Beth to hospital. Poor thing has had an infected gall bladder as well as gallstones. An eventful earlyish walk.  Picked up a dozen or so pine cones from Seaford cemetery. Two workmen nearby looking at me as if I were crazy. A glance at poems this morning choosing one to show and tell in the Understory Conversation this afternoon. Emma shared a deft and wonderful piece of writing, weaving something unusual out of old family photos. Reading it was effortless. I feel on the other end of the sale, but good to have a sympathetic forum to share feelings of writerly gloom. Lorraine and I did a quick scoot in Morrisons. Home and I cooked.  Below, on my walk I found what I think maybe an ancient stone tool by the side of a field. I will show it to someone sensible online, but it fit my left hand very well and seemed to have a serrated worked edge. Also a photo of rape seed flowers in a field, holding the camera at knee level. 

A poor night's sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night certain that I had wasted my whole life writing poetry; that I had invented a machine to invite continuous rejection and failure into my life. Got up and had a cup of chamomile and asked the I Ching if I should just give it up. The hexagrams of my reading were  Treading  changing to The Creative. Essentially that I should not be foolhardy in my conduct and suggesting a time of creativity is coming, which cheered me up. I don't consult the I Ching often, but given that there are 4,096 possible readings to every consultation the fact that it always seems to supply such a precise and pertinent answer seems statistically improbable. I always come away from reading it as if I have had a dose of wisdom and feel generally much more philosophical about life. Back to bed, then up early and Lorraine drove to the flat and I followed shortly after on foot. Various people round today to check on Pat. Paramedics where there, as ...

Woke up in the spare room this morning, with Lorraine coming in to say hello. The baby slept like a baby last night, and Beth did too, and had colour in her cheeks this morning. Enzo adorable this morning, Lorraine getting in some cuddles with him, before driving them home then went on to see Pat and Maureen, and work her way through a long list of to-dos.  I had intended to submit a completed manuscript for a poetry competition, as today is the deadline but last week's illness put the kibosh on that. In a selva oscura  with my writing, and thinking about it just makes me feel hopeless. So... If in doubt tidy up. So I tidied up for hours, did laundry, shopped, cooked, and swept up the muddy clods of moss which accumulate outside our front door have been chucked off our roof by the pesky returning seagulls.  Went for a walk in a break in the rain.  Carl called, as I am hoping to visit him soon, and was talking about a night out in Liverpool. What could go wrong? Also ...

James drove Beth off to A&E this morning, with really bad stomach pains. It's a thing Beth has had a couple of times since pregnancy, which may be gallstones. She was released later in the day having had lots of tests, lots of painkillers.  So we had a day with Enzo. Shortly after Maureen called to say Pat had slipped out of bed again, but luckily the carers were just about to come. They made him comfortable, but paramedics had to come later to lift him back into bed. The bed is adjustable, and is low, and Lorraine had put lots of our little flat cushions on the floor, so Pat is literally cushioned if he should slip out. Ezno, and seemed completely happy to be with us. Lorraine is absolutely brilliant with him, and I loved playing with him, and he seems quite relaxed with me too which is nice. Having had little exposure to babies, they are far more interesting and loveable than I imagined. He is responding to the world now, and chuckling and smiling, especially at Lorraine, esp...

A late breakfast, drinking out of my Best Grandad in the World mug. I have yet to earn this accolade, but it's a lovely thought.   Lorraine caring for Pat and Maureen much of the day. I walked my bare minimum, which is ten thousand paces, then cooked one of my very herby chicken stews which turned out excellently. Also read a bit of Arthur Machen and contemplated my failures as a writer of poetry.  Another trip to Pat and Maureen in the evening, as Pat was a bit agitated. Home again and we discovered some sloe gin from last year, and had a nip of it. Wondered who had given it to us, until Lorraine said the writing on the label was her own. It was like a delayed present to ourselves. Watched some of Match of the Day, and repaired to bed. Chelsea won at least. Lorraine taking on so much at the moment, and I worry about her.  

Felt significantly improved, after a good night's sleep. Have more energy, and the gloom with this bug has also lifted. Managed a walk this morning, walking into town with Lorraine, who had to collect antibiotics for Pat. I went on to walk along by the sea, which was lovely and enlivening. Dramatic skies, and I snapped the shot below of some hardy swimmers clambering out of the sea after being in the little sauna on the seafront.  Spoke to Anton and Mum. Home and having finished my Arthur Machen book, took delivery of another one, The Great God Pan and Other Horror Stories, published by Oxford Classics. There is some duplication, of stories with the other anthology, but this has some key stories Penguin's  The White People didn't contain.  Also delivered were new walking boots, again I used Chat GPT to request the best walking boots for people with overpronation, and it suggested a reasonably priced pair from Merrell, who I've had two lots of shoes from before. But the...

Up in the night, as Pat had slid out of bed again. We drove around, and we pulled him back into bed. I experienced a bit of a sense of humour failure having to drag myself out of bed in high alarm at two o'clock.  We weren't there long, and apart from the lifting from the floor I kept to the other room not wanting to share my lurgy. Home and nerves still jangling, we found it hard to go back to sleep. Tired all day from the night's shenanigans, but I felt like I had more life about me. Had to miss the final drawing class of the year. But I felt that I was Turning The Corner. So much so that I walked in the garden and once around the block, which by the time I got home was quite enough. I dozed and read Arthur Machen all day, and really enjoying it.  Beth and James took Maureen and a friend to see Fiddler on the Roof. Maureen absolutely loved it, and it was a much needed-break for her. Derek and Jason spent the day with Pat, and they are zooming off first thing tomorrow. A b...

Marginally brighter today, and didn't sleep during the day. Mainly lying about like a slug in the afternoon. Certainly no walking. Sylwia gave me a little mug with Pete needs coffee NOW! written on it, which was very sweet of her. At my desk this morning but can't focus. A few emails though, one to the people who had rejected Gordon Road, they were quite nice about it though, so it is only civil to reply nicely thanking them.   Jason and Derek with Pat and Maureen today, having survived their horrendous journey. Lorraine at home for some of the day, but involved in all kinds of admin for them. I am enjoying reading though. I bought the physical book of Powsels and Thrums by Alan Garner, having listened to it as an audiobook.  Some of what he writes about his creativity I find very interesting. Began reading The White People and Other Weird Stories , by Arthur Machen. I bought the book a while ago and read a story or two from it, now can feast on the whole thing. Was listenin...

Most of the day in bed.  Trivial symptoms other than fatigue -- sore throat, ears, puffy eyes etc. The negative covid test made me feel a charlatan. Also feeling glum about my writing, and wondering what I should do with myself instead.    A text exchange with Keith this morning. Nice to hear from him. Lorraine at Pat and Maureen's this morning. A busy day for them, with Louise and Will coming in the morning. Meanwhile, the new bed Maureen had ordered for herself, wouldn't fit up the stairway. The local outfit, VR Flowers where brilliant however, replacing it with a different model later in the day.  Beth and Enzo came around in the afternoon. Beth doing an afternoon's work for her employer, while Lorraine had some Enzo time. I meanwhile slunk back into bed and was soon asleep.   Derek flew in from Finland, was collected by Jason at Heathrow. But they had a puncture on the motorway. It was some sort of a pool car or hire car, and for various reasons, they were i...