under another sun

Kissed Lorraine, and made off for Runcorn. Felt unusually stressed this morning, not helped by clowns on the line between Clapham Junction and East Croydon causing delays. I relaxed once I was aboard the Runcorn train, which is only couple of hours from St Pancras. Tried to find the Campanile Hotel just by Runcorn Station but couldn't. Google maps had a breakdown saying, barking out, turn left, turn right, turn left, while I stood on the pavement. Turns out the hotel has new owners.  The reception area staffed by one person, the duty manager. She told me to expect a 'motel' feel. The room, when I got there, very basic but the sheets were clean. Outside was a bit of lawn, and a few trees and the roundabout. It looked like where a body is found in mysterious circumstance in an ITV crime drama. I went back to reception after a short cat nap and awaited Carl. The duty manger, a pleasant woman called Kit told me she had degree in law, and was very chatty. I said about the murder...

Peaceful day, although a bit low on energy. Counting our blessings though, which we do on a regular basis. A lovely marriage, a lovely house in a pleasant little town, lots of people we love and care about. Lorraine and I getting organised for our respective trips tomorrow. Spoke to Mum, who was on good form. In the afternoon we collected Pat and Maureen and brought them home, for a Sunday roast, and we put some in Tupperware for them tomorrow. Pat a bit more mobile, and the transfer from wheelchair to car to wheelchair to chair and back fairly smooth. Maureen enjoying a change of scene, and quickly boofed onto the gold sofa awaiting cups of tea. After dinner, we all started watching the Magnificent Seven as I have been thinking about cowboys lately.   Robin had got together an archive episode for Planet Poetry. I'd suggested we repeat the Danez Smith interview, given the Trump-inspired carnage in Minneapolis. Even Danez's 'Afropessimism' seems a missive from a more opt...

Sunny, pleasant day. Lorraine and I sorting a few bits out around the house. Beth and Enzo popping in. Lorraine went to see Pat and Maureen at tea time for a game of bingo, which I cooked at home. Pat given more claps when he came into the room, which is lovely.  We have lots of tiny black fungus flies in the house from flowerpots. Having researched it, we are going to buy some nematodes to put in the pots, which eat the larvae. Chatting to Mum we discussed the new problem of giant, mutated nematodes slithering out of the pots at night. Like trying not to picture a pink elephant, trying to ignore the wretched Live Canon pamphlet competition keeps being on my mind. Results are announced on Monday, but as I heard nothing today, I've obviously not got it as winners are usually tipped off in advance. I find being continuously shortlisted galling. A simple yes or no takes up less mental bandwidth. As ever it is the hope that kills you. Went for a couple of walks. I downloaded The Three ...

Writing Kansas this morning and using Chat GPT which I am using as a fast way of understanding the geography, and history of Kansas, then known as an Unorganized Territory, in the early 1820s. Now that I am a --ahem-- mature man, whose own life and recollections span the 20th and 21st centuries, the nineteenth century seems quite close.  Then I went to hang out with Pat, while Lorraine took Maureen for a blood test. Chatting with him, making him a cup of tea and laughing at an estate agent's haircut on some long running daytime TV show featuring  property developers buying down at heel properties and doing them up and selling them at a profit. Home again, and then Delores sent me some of the work she had been doing, on which I offered  comments and tweaks, which took a while and was an unpleasant return to copywriting. Then off for a longish walk to shake it all off. A pleasant evening in the Boot with today's cast of Adele and Patrick, Helen and Andy, and Andy. Talking l...

Up and off to life drawing. Melissa a lovely tutor as ever. An older male model. I enjoyed myself and halfway through took out some coloured pencils and then the whole thing felt therapeutic and fun.  Scuttled home and did quite a lot of work on Kansas, the story will be about 7k long I think. The only think it is lacking is a hair-raising end, but I am writing towards something, and it will be interesting to find out what happens.  Listening to a podcast about Mary Queen of Scots, managed to mostly dodge the rain. Wearing my waterproof over trousers. Spoke to Mum, who'd been to the boring club, which happens every Thursday. She also sorted out her car this week which had loose electrics and needed some adjustment to the brakes. Given that it had its MOT and passed with flying colours recently, one wonders what those clowns are playing at.  For us, a quiet night. Lorraine back from looking after Enzo, while Beth had an appointment. I enjoyed listening to Patrick on Crozie...

Walking, pressing on with Kansas off and on most of the day. Lorraine off to her pottery class tonight, and enjoying it. She made two pots today.  A site in my Facebook feed, allowing you to you upload cat pictures or family photos and AI dresses the people or pets to make it seem like a classic portrait. This is a picture of Brian and Calliope. Calliope a bit large. But I like their neckwear.   

A nice note from Charlotte about my shortlisting for Gordon Road, and then another forwarding some publicity from Bloodaxe, with a quote from me about one of their poets. I wish they'd chosen a quote that made sense, but you can't have everything.  So having sent off a story yesterday, I picked up another tale that I started about two and a half years ago, and now can see a way of resolving it. I was surprised when I reread it, how much I liked it. I need a few more short stories to complete a MS of short stories, the bulk of which have already been published. This one seems a good idea as it is historical, being set in 1822, so provides another dimension.

Made a Monday morning list of things to do this morning, and did some of them. Today is blue Monday, but I didn't feel blue at all. Not having to work really helps.  Longish chat with Mum. She is okay, and her face is less swollen now. I sent one of my shorter short stories, called The Merger to a new anthology of stories.  I'd not read it properly for a couple of years, and I liked it more than I did before. I also completed a bit of writing for a friend of Richard's called Phil Dunn, sending him a draft of his book blurb. I am not sure how I found myself writing this, but it's done. Went for a walk. Almost finished with the Inklings now, dealing with Joy Gresham's marriage to Lewes. This seemed to coincide with a coolness for towards Jack Lewes by his mate Tollers.  Live Canon release their shortlist today. There was a cast of thousands on it.  Mark Flowers came around and measured our hallway and stairs for our carpet this afternoon. It will be green.

Baby Enzo with us this morning. Lorraine brought him in to sit with us in the bed first thing. Sitting in bed with the smiley little boy was completely heart melting.   Beth arrived early, she and James had missed Enzo all the time. I find how James is so besotted by Enzo to be very endearing.  I went for a long walk in the winter sun, along the sea and at the bottom of Edinburgh Road, passed workmen moving the sea-strewn pebbles off the road. I also got to the end of the Inklings book. Lorraine and I made Sunday lunch and afterward played a simple cycling based board game, which I enjoyed, as its rules were straightforward. At tea time I received an email saying that Gordon Road had been shortlisted for the Live Canon competition I entered it for last summer. This is good. But also triggering: I have had so many things shortlisted without winning that it actually made my heart sink a bit. Crazy really. Beth and James left, taking the wee bairn with them. The house seemed qui...

A tranquil start to the day, just a supermarket visit Lorraine and I went off to the supermarket. Otherwise an at home day. The weather was pants too, so I didn't go for a walk.   Beth brought Enzo around, who then stayed with us this afternoon, and stayed overnight. I loved seeing him eating, a sort of pasta sauce with tiny pasta stars, which he was eating with two spoons. He spent a good deal of time looking at me today, like he'd properly noticed me. In the evening he was sleepily lying in Lorraine's arms after having a bottle of milk just looking at me sitting next to them. His arm was flung out towards me, and I held my hand out and he gripped my hand and didn't let go.  I think he fell asleep with his eyes open.  Then Lorraine took him upstairs, and he went to bed without any fuss.  In the quiet I watched Chelsea win on Match of the Day. To bed with the baby monitor by Lorraine's side of the bed. 

Up early, and sorted out the contract for a phone I was taking to Mum, then left early for to Edgware, but early as I'd arranged for the Mediquip people to meet Mum and I between twelve and one. I showed mum the phone I'd got for her. But it turns out that her old phone, which I thought was broken, was still in working order, but just has a crack in the plastic. So we decided to stick with the old one, rather than learn a whole new phone.  The pleasant mediquip person installed the lifeline terminal, which links to a responder, and mum had a pendant that you can press if you need help. We tested it, and someone answered from the terminal in the kitchen within seconds. This rather good. This will help Mum maintain her independence but also give me peace of mind.  To the Waggon and Horses, and had lunch and sat gratefully by the wood fire. Mum sad that she hadn't been able to colour her hair recently. But of her usual pals, only Steve Davis there for a bit, and we had a chat ...

Nothing but the wild rain this morning.  Off to my drawing class, which I enjoyed more this week, with a graceful female sitter called Caris. Melissa on good form, and I chatted with Debbie, who'd just had a back operation, and Adele, and several of the regulars.   Lorraine was waiting outside in the rain, and we went to Flowers to finalise carpet choices. Luckily I found the golfing umbrella I'd left at the Women's institute about two months ago, while leaving the building.   Home again, still rather tired and underpowered. Beth and Enzo, and Rosie all around this afternoon. Rosie excitable because she and Innis are getting married at the end of May. She said she had been looking at wedding dresses and getting overwhelmed by emotions of all sorts. Lovely to see her though. Phoned Mum, as I'm going to see her tomorrow. In the evening I made off to Lewes where Robin was reading at The Needlewriters. Good to see Robin again, and have nice chats with Robert Hamberger and J...

Grey, rainy day. Took an effort to keep buoyant.  I felt better after I spoke to Barnet Social Services, and Mediquip Barnet. The lady at Social Services very helpful and friendly. Spoke to Mum a couple of times. She was trying to get to Edgware hospital to have her bandage changed, but the bus wasn't running, and the roads had been closed and rerouted.  A walk in the rain in my waterproof leggings and wet top. Flotsam on the shoreline from a cargo vessel losing some of its load near the Isle of Wight, most of it expanded polystyrene. A few hardy and public spirited volunteers had bagged up much of it in the teeming rain earlier.   Popped into Morrisons on the way home because Lorraine was snuffling on the gold sofa most of the day, crocheting Babs, a chicken from Wallace and Gromit film Chicken Run, and badly needing a large dose of chocolate.   Tinkered with some poems for a possible submission, wrote to Robin and did my best to do some thinking and writing.  ...

Lorraine has a cold, and I am sore throaty and generally out of sorts with a sluggish brain. Briefly bucked up first thing by having a poem published today in  Black Nore Review  called Viagra from Vancouver . I wrote it after being spammed by someone called Gwen some years ago. When I saw the name Gwen (with no surname) in my inbox I immediately thought of her. Funny how many poems of mine Gwen appears in. She was proud of her individuality, and had a framed quotation that she frequently quoted which, on googling, I discover is the 'Gestalt Prayer' by Fritz Perls, written in 1969. I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. Chatted with Mum this morning, she's okay. Tobs called her yesterday. I am delaying seeing her till later in the week to not give her my cold,...

A much enjoyed day at home. Lorraine snuffling with a cold by the end of the day, and me feeling sore-throaty again. Gah. January is doing its best to be hard to like. I know it is mad to personify a month. We'd plans to see Rosie and Innis today, but they had to cancel, which turned out to be lucky for us.  Spoke to Mum early on. She also went next door to Wynford's in the evening. He sent me a very kind text. He is a thoroughly good man. I went for a short walk by the sea. There was supposed to be a seaside run today, but the storms have forced all the pebbles inland over the runners' route, so it had to be cancelled. I always like the blurring of outlines you get with snow, and here the pebbles did the same thing. Wind from the east, although my weather app said it was from the south, numbed my face. Morrisons. Bought some sacrilegious hot cross buns, which went down well with Lorraine on the gold sofa. A fisherman's pie tonight and then we watched a decent if sad do...

Odd scenes this morning at Kenny Towers. Nurse Lorraine boiled scissors and got her medical kit out and cut an irritating skin tag off my inside thigh. It didn't hurt, but bled a bit. Shortly after, Mum called me having fallen at home, hitting the exact same spot on her forehead as she had done in Station Road before Christmas. She was bleeding and wondering what to do next. I told her to call 999 immediately, while I held on, on the iPad. Later an ambulance arrived for her, and they took her to Barnet hospital.  Lorraine and I had already cancelled all our plans and left home, and we found her in Barnet hospital's A&E department, and spent the day with Mum, as she was given assorted scans, blood tests, ECG, and blood pressures and so on had spoken to the Occupational Therapist. People asked her loads of questions.  I also sat with her while her face was injected and sewn up, which I found a bit disturbing. Another five stitches, as I remember it: one inside and four outsi...

A night without coughing again. It is a thing of beauty to be able to sleep again. Lorraine off to do Story Time. I waited for the man from V.R. Flowers, Mark Flowers,  to measure up some of the rooms for carpets, but also after discussion with him we're going to rethink the stairs carpet, so he'll have to come again. Otherwise assorted housework, and finally enjoying poems by Phil Dunn, a pal of Richard Fleming, and it's a collection mostly about work in its various forms. I wrote to him having read it. Then for an early walk listening to Humphrey Carpenter's Inklings book. Carpenter makes the Inklings seem snobby and irritating. I don't know if this is me, Carpenter or the Inklings.  Lorraine and I battened down the hatches tonight, as it was a miserable night and we have a lot on this weekend socially. We summoned a curry from The Viceroy, and spend the evening watching TV. We each had a can of lager too. I must be going through an unadventurous phase, but snugg...

Off to life drawing this morning, wrapped up in lots of warm clothes. Only an hour's coughing last night. Nice to see Melissa and my fellow scribblers. The room was warm for the model, so I had to take off a few layers. One of those times when I make people laugh without trying. I tried drawing with charcoal mostly, and used some that Anton had bought me, which soon got over my hands and face and so on. Melissa tells me that I am too harsh about my own efforts, and suggested that next week I should draw with my left hand to lower expectations. So I'll try that. I want to be rawer and more spontaneous, and sometimes I want to draw towards a project, something like a little booklet with poems for example. Other times I think I should just draw for its own sake. I am overthinking everything. Gah. Home and Lorraine at Beth's. I watched a video of an ICE agent leaning into a car, and murdering a mother called Renee by shooting her in the face. An action later defended by the Tru...

A better night's sleep, with fewer coughing fits. Took myself to my desk optimistically, but had no ideas. I walked for a while by the sea, and finished the BBC Radio version of I Claudius. It ends with Claudius is fed a dish of poisoned mushrooms. He was succeeded by Nero.  I began listening to The Inklings by Humphrey Carpenter,  C.S. Lewis and Tolkien are familiar territory for me but I suspect I they would have been insufferable in real life.   I am about to buy Mum a new phone, have been looking at straightforward ones that text and call without being bogged down with apps. Checked that this is what is needed.  Lorraine took Maureen to get her knees injected. Then had to return as Pat was unwell. In the evening she zoomed off to do a pottery course, I stayed at home, and listened to jazz. She had great fun there, which is excellent. A part of the skateboard area in the Salts.

Another wretched night of coughing, tired this morning but perked up as the day progressed.  Today's mind map all about writing. Splitting assorted concepts and projects into these sections. Almost done  -- the full poetry collection and Gordon Road,  Quick wins -- small short story collection, a pamphlet of weird poems, an updated Boy Who Fell Upwards, with later Guernsey poems Finishable a longer collection of poems, and a novella I abandoned a while back called Nothing Compares To You, which when I reread some of it today, had pace and may be worth returning to. Blank canvases, which contains a few sketchy concepts. One of them was that I am going to  resume my drawing class this week, but I realised I need to draw towards a project. Perhaps I could produce something like Snow that I did with Palo Almond. My back much improved, and I walked for an hour and a half, without too much pain, while listening to the BBC radio production of I Claudius , which is gr...